Carson Peyton

This is the story of Carson's birth. He has already been such a joy to us. There have been trials, him being the 4th boy and all, but we are managing and now that he is here, I almost can't remember what life was like before he came!

Carson's due date was March 5th. My mom showed up March 4th, we figured that it would be a good idea for her to have a few days with the boys before we were gone at the hospital and I also wanted a few days with my mom as well. I had way more than a few days though! Never in all the ways I imagined birthing a child did I think that I would be induced. A c-section came to mind easier than being induced. I knew it was something I didn't want and that was about it. 

But March 5th came and went and then my appt on March 6th came and went and then my next appt. on March 13th came and went and we decided it was time to schedule me to be induced. They didn't want me going past March 19th so it had to be the 17th, 18th or 19th. We decided that the 17th was best because that way we might be home with Carson for a week before my mom left. Not to mention that way Chris wouldn't have to take time off work since he was taking all that week of between switching jobs. So it was set and all we had to worry about was the storm that was hitting our area Sunday night and us getting to the hospital in time. 

To make it easier on ourselves we decided to get a hospital down in Columbia for the night of the 16th so that we wouldn't have to try to drive all the way from our house on the possibly crazy roads. And with how much snow we wound up getting it was probably a good idea. We would have had to leave at 6 to make it by 7:30 a.m. It was the worst night ever though. I learned the biggest reason why I hate being induced. I already was nervous and scared and unhappy about giving birth and being induced, but trying to sleep the night before you are going to be induced is impossible. I slept off and on until 3:30 and was awake after that. So when 6:30 rolled around and we were getting up, I was nervous and jittery and probably tired, but I didn't feel it at the time. We packed up, ate breakfast and left for the hospital. 

We got there at 8 in the morning, signed everything that I had to and met with my midwife and she was overly optimistic. That is her personality but she kept saying that she wanted this baby out by 8, the end of her shift. I smiled and nodded my head but I knew better. My body likes to have marathon labors. Even being forced on pitocin my body does not cooperate and go fast. Dallin took 15 hours (10. hours on pitocin), Tristan, (my natural labor/birth) took 24 and Warren took 29 (15 on pitocin). So, I kinda figured I would take my sweet time and I did!

At 9 my nurse had finished hooking me up and everything and changing and so we started the pitocin. And since you have to be monitored continually while on the pitocin I was stuck in bed. My nurse said I could use a walking monitor but that it really only worked in the room and I wasn't allowed to take a shower with the monitor on. How dumb. The two things I do during labor, walking and hot showers, were pretty much out of the question. So I sat in bed. Chris and I played games, watched Harry Potter 7 part 1 and 2 and napped and read. I also updated facebook a lot but honestly, I didn't have much to do stuck in the bed like that. I didn't have the epidural so I could still get up and move around but then the monitors would stop and the nurse would come in and fix them. So I mostly sat/lay there. Thankfully I warned my husband that this time I would be eating food while in labor. I was so grumpy when I had Warren because we got there at like 8 in the morning and I wasn't supposed to eat until he was born the next morning around 3 in the morning. Way too long to be without food. So he fed me snacks all day. 

Finally at 8 p.m., 11 hours of being on pitocin, my midwife came in to say goodbye for the shift change and I asked to be off pitocin for a while. I was FINALLY having regular contractions, every two minutes, and I was getting uncomfortable. So she said yes and that I could have some soup. Hooray! Soup! Chris's mom stopped at Chik fil'a and got him some food and me some soup. Then we walked. It was wonderful to be up and moving. Unfortunately I could tell pretty quickly that things were slowing down. Oh well. At least I had a break from the bed for an hour, or that was what I thought. 

At 9:15 we went back to the room for me to be monitored for the 20 minutes. The new midwife came in and she said she wanted to break my water to see if that would help. I had dilated a whopping total of 5 cm. I started at a 2 that morning and I was now at a 5, 13 hours after showing up. Marathon labor. My optimistic husband told me that if I kept that pace up that I would have a baby in like 16 hours. Not funny... So, she broke my water and we started walking again! And I could tell now that laboring with my water broken is pretty miserable. It hurt on the front part of my uterus, my cervix and it felt like I needed to poop. Hard to walk when you feel like you need to poop! 

We walked for another hour and at 10:15 went back to be monitored for 20 minutes and then started walking again. I think we made it to about 10:50 p.m. when I got hit with a huge wave of exhaustion. I was so tired all of a sudden so we went back to the room and I laid down. I tried to nap as best I could but even though labor had pretty much stopped, the few contractions I had would keep me awake. At 11:15 my nurse came in and told me that we had to start the antibiotic again (I was GBS positive) and be monitored. so we started that and at 11:30 my midwife came in and said since there were like no contractions it was time for pitocin again. And I said okay, can I get the epidural now? I knew that I wouldn't be having this baby without pitocin and I didn't want to experience that much pain. We just had to finish the antibiotics and then do a liter of fluid and then she would put in the call for the anesthesiologist. 

At 1 in the morning I was getting pretty uncomfortable. The pitocin had kicked in pretty quickly this time, unlike that morning. So the anesthesiologist came in and kicked Chris out for 25 minutes. My nurse was wonderful this time. I hate that they make the husbands leave at that hospital because when I had Warren I needed his support but I couldn't have it and I wasn't that big a fan of my nurse. But this nurse, Tasha, was sweet and nice and kept talking to me and holding me and was very helpful to getting through the strong contractions and the epidural. And then it was over and I started to feel better. 

Chris came back and we decided we would try to get some sleep. I know Chris slept and I dozed a little, I hate the feeling of not being able to not move my legs so I was continually uncomfortable. And there was a little bit of my uterus on the left hand side that never went numb. So as the contractions got stronger, that area I could still feel and it let me know what was going on, making it eventually hard to sleep. 

At 3:40 a.m. I felt this urge to push. It was pretty faint but I knew what it meant! So I yelled at Chris to wake up, who was very deeply asleep. He called Tasha, the nurse to come in and she emptied my bladder and the midwife was on her way. The midwife showed up at about 3:50 and she positioned me in the bed how she wanted. That took a few minutes since my right leg was dead to the world. Couldn't even move my toes anymore on that leg. So at about 3:55 she asks me to push, and I warn her that I am a good pusher. She hadn't even gotten her apron on yet. So I push once and she says "stop!" because she could see his head with that one push. She and her shadowing midwife get dressed quickly and I am so uncomfortable because I just want to push and finally they are ready and I push and push and push for about 5 minutes and out came Carson at 4:02 a.m. on March 18th, about 20 hours after we started the pitocin! 

We took off my gown and they handed him to me and I got to hold him for the next very long while. Chris and I were very concerned though because he never really cried and his face was blue. Very blue. And I know it takes a while for them to pink up but even after 5 minutes with the oxygen mask next to his face he was still so purple! So they take the mask away and I ask if he is all right and they finally tell me that he just has facial bruising. It apparently happens to lots of babies that come out too fast. I thought the 5 minutes was a long time to push but apparently it was fast for him! 

As I said, I got to hold him for a long time. Usually after a while they take the baby away and weigh him and clean him up and diaper him and such and then eventually take Chris and the baby to the nursery to bathe him but they must be changing policy because I got to hold him until about 10 minutes before we left the room to go to the recovery rooms. They weighed him and measured him at that point, which was about the time that enough feeling had returned to my leg(s) for me to get into the wheel chair. It was almost 6 at this point. 

We get to the recovery room and the nurse comes and gets Carson to bathe him and Chris and I wait for him to come back, I nurse him again and then swaddle him and we all go to sleep. And we all slept as much as we could with the nurses coming in and pressing on my uterus and pills and vitals. But honestly, this was the best hospital trip we have had so far. The nurses left us alone more than usual and I felt so much more capable physically after he was born than any other baby I have had. I must have really worked on those pelvic floor muscles during this pregnancy! 

Carson has been a dream. He is currently having gas and I guess diarrhea, he poops a lot. But he sleeps all night. From about 8:30 to 8:30 he sleeps, waking 2 times to feed during the night. His older brothers love him and like to help out with him. Today I had him on the couch while I switched laundry and I look over and I see Dallin picking him up (while sitting on the couch) and putting him in his lap so he could hold him. Tristan sings songs to him all the time and Warren is very concerned any time he cries and will run to him and find a pacifier for him. I think he will fit in well with us and be loved. 

Diarrhea at the airport

Today during dinner I was talking to the boys that there was dairy in the dinner and that Warren might have diarrhea tomorrow. That he might have lots of diaper changes. They were very interested in this and proceeded to ask "why" a million more times. All of a sudden, Tristan pipes up, "I had diarrhea in the airport!" I looked at him funny and was trying to remember what he was talking about. And then it clicked. He DID have diarrhea in the airport and in an effort to NEVER forget I am going to write down our experience for years from now I can show it to his fiance. hahahaha.

We were on our way home from Alaska at Christmas time. Tristan had gotten a stomach bug while we were there and kinda gotten over it and then it seemed to hit him again as we were heading home. We were in the airport, we had just gotten food and I kept trying to get Tristan to eat. He was so fussy and kept saying he wasn't hungry and he wasn't walking anymore. So the rest of us were sitting around, eating, while Tristan was looking quite miserable in the stroller. All of a sudden I smell something. Something fragrant. I look at Warren first and he was okay so then I am wondering where that smell is coming from. It couldn't be Tristan because Chris had JUST changed him and it had been quite the battle. But I go ahead and just glance over at him and oh my goodness. The back of his diaper pooched out a little like the pack of pants and in it I could see... the rising level of poop! It was like watching a poop tide. It was horrifying. I had no idea what to do! There was so much poop! And it smelled so bad! He just kept on pushing it all out and thankfully, thankfully, it did not overflow from his diaper. Chris and I kept looking at each other and back at his diaper and laughing and trying to not freak out and be supportive to him. I remember him looking over at me, so exhausted, and saying, "I'm all done". hahaha. I wouldn't let him get up, I just took the stroller and wheeled him to the bathroom and proceeded to make the bathroom a mess. Thankfully though when he stood up the poop level in his diaper sunk down a bit, but I remember thinking there was a lot of poop there. He didn't have to go poop again until after we got home.

Ahh children. They can be so frustrating but at the same time so wonderful and provide such great stories to share later on in life.

Head bob

We were gifted with this barbie jeep shortly after we moved into our house I think but we have never had it working. We didn't have a charger for it. And so I went out on bulk trash night for my SIL's neighborhood and found one and also grabbed a few extra batteries too. Unfortunately the wiring that goes along underneath the jeep doesn't seem to be working anymore so it doesn't go. But it does have the music still play in it. We have never changed the battery for the music and Tristan and Warren love it. They frequently climb into the jeep and jam out. Tristan though is the cutest thing ever. He plays his favorite song, stands on the back and smiles that very adorable smile and bobs his head. And he tells me that he is going to "go like this" as he shows me how he bobs his head. He looks so cute and every time I see I just think that he has got to be the cutest kid in the world. 

Slip n slide

So we have a very nice large yard. A huge selling point on the house when we bought it. And there was a while that I didn't enjoy the idea of most of the yard being a hill but we have figured out how to make the hill an amazing adventure. We buy plastic sheets from Home Depot and I stake them into the ground nice and snug and get a sprinkler going and the boys zoom down the hill! They LOVE it! This day we did the "short" slip n slide. It is about 50 ft. or so and to make it so the boys didn't go off the end I put the pool right there and they loved it! they thought it was pretty fun. They ask for the pool to crash into ever time now. On the 9th we will be having a Friday Fun day at our house and we will be putting out the big one. It goes on the other side of the tree, down the steepest, longest part of the hill and you get quite a bit of zip! Warren won't do it but every one else loves it!

Farm zoo

My ward is awesome and my friend every summer sets up a summer group with weekly activities. We have Tuesday Park days and Friday Fun days. This was a Friday Fun day when we went to a farm petting zoo. They have all sorts of animals, not all found on a farm. Or at least I wouldn't usually think you have kangaroos and emus at a farm but I could be wrong... Anyway, the boys had a great time. They LOVED being able to touch and feed some of the animals. Warren was a little nervous the whole time unless it was a tine animal. They had little tiny baby goats that were adorable! I wish it had been easier for me to take pictures but that is what happens when you have three small munchkins. Definitely something we might have to do again next year. 

The joys of East Coast living.

So we had our house sprayed for termites and black carpenter ants. We never saw the termites but the ants... They were everywhere! It was disgusting! We had to keep our kitchen immaculate because I would come out in the morning and turn on the light and the ants would scatter. It felt like hundreds of them. Well, we got the house sprayed and on day 8 after I was starting to feel hopeless, like they would never leave. So I bought some borax and mixed up a sugar/borax drink for them and left it on the counter that night. This is what I came up with the next morning. Eww.

They are coming tomorrow to spray again because after a huge infestation it takes a while to get the numbers really down. We didn't see any for a long time but after about a month they slowly started coming back and now I have about 20 dead ants floating in the jar. It took about 3 days to happen. I can't wait for 10 days from tomorrow!

The most disgusting thing ever

Would you like to see something creepy? And disgusting? And make you never want to grow tomatoes again? Well, here it is!

Maybe that is just a kicker for me but it sure makes me NEVER want to go digging in my tomato plants as soon as I start seeing leaves disappear. Ick. Ew. Nasty. Gross. I found 2 of them last year that were that big and this year I found this big nasty sucker and 3 smaller ones. I clipped 'em good and threw them in the field right behind my garden. Serves them right for grossing me out. 

Poor sick boys

It has been a long few days. Warren got sick last Monday. It started as a small cough which turned into fever and horrible phlegmy coughs and a never ending runny nose and not eating. Today, Sunday, is the first day he has signed to us that he wanted to actually eat again. I could get him to eat squeezies and bottles but for 6 days that is all he would eat. Poor little guy. But he was sooo happy today comparatively. He played on his own, he ate on his own and he would play games with us and not fuss unless he started to get tired. It was wonderful to start getting my little angel baby back.

Unfortunately Dallin started coughing yesterday morning. Granted, he does seem to cough a lot when we spend a lot of time outside so we think he has allergies but this sounded worse and it has progressed into something worse. His nose isn't running but he has a horrible cough and when Dallin coughs he sounds like he is about to die/throw up/cough a lung up. It is intense. He has a hard time talking because this cough is so consuming to him that he kinda rasps something out but not really. It is so frustrating! But I am trying to be nice because he also isn't eating and has a good fever going. Hopefully he will sleep better tonight. And I really hope that it doesn't take him 7 days to get over this like it did Warren! Mostly because when he is sick he just wants to sit in front of the t.v. the whole time and that isn't going to float. Especially since we just bought another pool that they want to play in and I don't want them doing it if they are sick. He should be taking it easy.

And then Tristan... My dear sweet Tristan. I frequently feel like Tristan is overshadowed by Dallin and Warren and doesn't get much attention. He doesn't really demand it either because he has always been used to sharing attention. But he was very cute this morning when I asked him how he was feeling, if he felt sick at all and had a cough. He immediately responded that he didn't want to be sick so he wasn't going to cough any more. If only life were that easy. I also wish I could look at life that happily.

Evil Rattikis

Once upon a time there were three brothers; Dallin, Tristan and Warren. They were very special boys with special powers. Dallin had super speed. Tristan had super strength. Warren had super jumping. They liked to have fun and relax as well so one day they were walking through the park, enjoying the sunny day. All of a sudden they heard screaming and yelling "Ouch! He bit me!" and other such things. They quickly run to the area where the disturbance was and saw a giant evil rat, full of evil germs and diseases, running around the park biting people. They quickly thought that they needed to intervene and keep the evil rat, who they knew as Rattikis, away from all the poor innocent people.

Dallin quickly ran up to Rattikiss and kicked him in his arm and then took off running, using his super speed to quickly get away to safety. Tristan and Warren followed Rattikis stealthily and when he had given up the chase for Dallin he sneakily went back down into the sewers. Tristan and Warren were able to continue following him and found where he lived. It was a very gross and disgusting slimy moldy place. They quickly back tracked and met up with Dallin.

They decided that they needed a plan to capture Rattikis and quickly came up with one. They would dig a deep hole and lure him there. So they went to the sewers and Tristan used his super strength to dig a big hole and they covered it and then Dallin went to Rattikis' lair and taunted him, luring him out so that he started chasing Dallin. Dallin ran super fast and was able to run fast enough but keep him following him and when he got to the pit Warren grabbed Dallin and did a super jump and across the hole and Rattikis kept running and fell into the hole. Haha! They caught him!

But wait... they didn't take into account that Rattikis, as a rat, could dig a hole and since he was bigger he could dig faster and started to get away. Not good! said the super brothers and so they all jumped down in the hole. But they didn't think it through very well because now Rattikis could bite them! So the decided to split up! Dallin started running around in the hole so fast that Rattikis couldn't get him, Warren did a super jump and got out and went to look for a rope to be able to help the others out. Tristan, with his super strength, decided that he would go for the evil rat himself and jumped on his back and held the rats mouth shut and wrestled him to the ground. Warren came back with some rope and they were able to quickly help Tristan tie up Rattikis. Then they quickly took him to jail and all was good again in the world thanks to the super brothers, Dallin, Tristan and Warren.

An emotional event.

So I decided to finally write down what happened to me 3 weeks ago. I look back and it all happened so fast and it seems so long ago but when I was going through it I felt like the ordeal was never ending.

My mom had come to town and was visiting and then we were expecting a snow storm on the 6th, the day her plane left, and so she decided to fly out a day early. She only comes to visit when I have babies since I am so far away and she is busy. But she had been on a cruise and it was a small fee to stop over in Baltimore for a few extra days so she could see me. it was wonderful. She came upstairs the morning of the 5th and told me that because she didn't want to get her flight canceled and not get home for a few days she was going to fly out that morning. I was sad but it was fine. Little did I know!!!!!

On the way to the airport I started occasionally feeling a cramp on my lower left abdominal. Right above my hip bone. I didn't think anything of it because it was so infrequent and it didn't hurt that bad. I dropped my mom off, the kids said they would miss her and then she was gone. It was Tuesday and  we got back home in time for story time at the library so we did that and the cramps were a bit more frequent and I wasn't feeling so hot because of it. We go home, get lunch and then it is nap time. By this point the cramp seemed to stay all the time and so I got out my hot pack and curled up in bed and took a nap. I felt better for it but the cramps were still there. I didn't want to take ibuprofen since there was always the possibility I might be pregnant and you aren't supposed to take it when pregnant. I also felt bad about the heat pack but I was feeling pretty miserable at this point. The cramp was never ending, no matter what position I was in. Chris got home and I told him I was just going to sit on the couch for the rest of the night and he was on his own with the kids. He said okay because he is wonderful like that. At this point I was paranoid that something was wrong because this had never happened and the cramps were feeling as strong as labor pains, but off to the side still. So I thought, maybe it is a kidney stone? Eventually I decided that couldn't be it because the pain was way too low. Then I thought, maybe constipation? I have had that happen before and it was miserable though I didn't remember it feeling so much like a menstrual cramp. Then I had the scary thought that maybe it was an ectopic pregnancy? Either way, it was too late in the day and I couldn't do anything so I just decided to put up with the pain for the night though lots of prayers were said. In my heart though I really felt like it was a pregnancy that was going wrong.

The next morning we woke up to snow! Lots of snow and lots of flights were cancelled so it was good that my mom had left when she did.... I guess... I was miserable because I had hardly slept because I hurt. It was like having middle-strength contractions that never ended! It was miserable! So I decided I would go to an urgent care and get a test done to see if it was a kidney stone or constipation but before that I just wanted to rule out ectopic pregnancy by getting a pregnancy test and having it show me a negative. So I braved the watery streets (they were plowed and just melty all over) and got one and went home and Chris and the boys were outside playing (I convinced Chris to take the day off because I was going to be trying to figure out what to do and the pain was making it hard to be a mother) so I went inside, did the test and voila! I was pregnant! Not what I wanted but at the same time I just felt like that was what was going on.

I called my doctors office but due to inclement weather it was closed and I talked to the doctor on call and set up an appointment for the next day (Thursday) because I was pregnant, having cramping pain where I shouldn't and convinced something was wrong. So I tough out another day at home on the couch with my hot pack and I finally caved and gave into ibuprofen. The tylenol just was not up to snuff.

Thursday morning Chris helps me get the boys ready, helps get me ready and then he goes to work and I drop the boys off at a friends house and then I go to the doctors office. I had a pelvic exam and an ultrasound and lots of talking. Because I had just had my period 3 weeks prior Dr. Sun thought it was odd that I already showed a positive on the pregnancy test so we did an ultrasound, trying to find out if we could find anything. There was nothing in the uterus, a cyst on my right ovary which made it easy to find and then they just could not find my left tube or my left ovary. She was of the opinion if there was something growing there that they would be able to find it but she wanted me to get some blood work done to see about how far along I was. She called later that afternoon and let me know that my quant was 3400 (my hcg/pregnancy hormone level). With a level that high they should have seen something in the uterus if there was something there but since we absolutely didn't see anything there she was starting to strongly suspect an ectopic pregnancy and gave me the run down on what to do if it was and all of a sudden my tube burst during the night. Scary stuff! At this point I had asked Chris for 2 priesthood blessings and the first one said that this trial would soon be over though I felt like it was taking forever already, though it had only been 2 days at this point. Then the second one said that all would be well and I would be healthy again and that Heavenly Father knew me and what I needed and that He and my family were there for me. And I had been saying so many prayers. I was just so worried that my tube would rupture and I would die and leave my husband and children alone! It was scary. I don't fear death so much as I fear leaving my family behind when they still need me so much.

Friday I went in for another doctors appointment and it was another sleepless night. I had not had a break from the cramps since Tuesday night. I was miserable. I was tired and emotional and I knew in my heart that there was a baby somewhere but that I was not going to get to keep it. We did another ultrasound and this time they found my left ovary but there was still nothing anywhere. Nothing! I had never ending cramping and I was so miserable and emotional at this point! I have a wonderful husband and friends and family who were there for me and a Heavenly Father too but I was just so tired of it all and wanted the pain and ordeal to be over and the fear of having a burst tube over! I talked to Dr. Sun and was going to do another quant the next day (Saturday) as long as I didn't rupture. But at this point she was very concerned for an ectopic pregnancy and even though she couldn't find it, it could still be there because they grow abnormally and might be small and not easy to spot but still cause me to have high hormone levels. So I went home, not being any closer to an answer.

That night I just couldn't handle the pain anymore. I was so upset! I think at this point is where I went and said a prayer on my own and asked for comfort. I had been praying for it when this all started and had been receiving it whenever I needed it. If I started to freak out that I was going to die, Chris and I would pray and I would feel almost instantly calmed down. If I started to freak out because the pain was just too much, we would pray and I would feel an ease, if not cessation. At this time I prayed for comfort to know what to do about the baby. I wanted to be done but I didn't want to kill it. Dr. Sun and I had talked that if the baby was still growing and it wasn't in the uterus, we would probably need to end the pregnancy and as long as I hadn't ruptured, I could have a shot that would target it and abort the baby. I would never want to abort the baby except that if it threatened my life and wasn't viable anyway because of where it was trying to grow. It wasn't the baby's fault or mine, just a mishap that happened to the two of us. At this point I was very upset over losing the baby because I wanted it and I didn't want to kill it but knew it wasn't going to be able to join us on this earth. After I said my prayer I just had this amazing impression that this baby didn't need any more time on earth, that it got its body and was already in heaven. Which was heart breaking but at the same time thanks to the plan of salvation, I also felt so much peace and love and had such faith and understanding that some day when I get to heaven that I would get that baby and I would get to raise it just as I would have here on this earth if the pregnancy had been viable. I felt so much peace at this thought that I was ready.

So, at 7 p.m. Chris and I went to the hospital because I was so tired of hurting and not sleeping and not knowing if my life was in peril and I was ready to make the choice to abort it if necessary and didn't want to wait a whole weekend or a day to do it. The doctor on call was wonderful and talked to us lots on the phone and would always quickly let us know when results were in. We were there for 7 hours, doing one thing or another and waiting and it took forever but I was feeling so much better about the whole thing, even if I was still hurting. She let us know immediately when she found out my quant, which had dropped to 1400. Which was great because it meant that my body seemed to be actively miscarrying, so at that point she was sure we wouldn't need the shot. Which was wonderful to hear. Then we got the ultrasound and they found a "mass" on my left ovary. We won't ever know what it was but there is always the possibility that it was the baby and if it had been trying to grow there and that is why I had my cramping in that exact spot. The pelvic exam was painful but not so painful that she was concerned that I was going to rupture so we left the hospital at 3 and went home knowing that it was almost over.

All day Saturday I still had cramping and that night the cramping finally stopped! It was wonderful. But come Sunday morning I woke up in so much pain. It wasn't cramping at this point. It felt more like muscle soreness. Imagine a muscle being cramped with no release for 5 days and then finally relaxing. The doctor I talked to and saw Tuesday told me it was cramping but he was an idiot because I knew at that point what cramping felt like. But no idea what it was. If I was sitting and doing nothing I felt great. But I couldn't do that because I have children. Chris went to work Monday and I sat on the couch doing as little as possible that day with the boys. I dreaded picking up Warren. When I had my pelvic exam on Tuesday the idiot doctor felt on my right side and it felt fine, my uterus in the center was pretty sensitive and then he touched on my left side and it was so excruciatingly painful I started crying. He told me it was nothing and that I was fine. I told him (in my head) that he was an idiot. He continued to tell me everything that I had been through the last week was nothing. That I was healthy and fine and I should be happy. I wanted to smack him. He was the one in the office that day so that is why I saw him but I will NEVER see a male o.b. again because he was an idiot and could not understand what I was going through. It was not nothing. Idiot. I am still so bitter and angry at him.

Anyway, Wednesday was a bit better, Thursday was better, Friday was better and by Saturday I stopped hurting unless I actually touched my left side. Snug waist-line pants were very uncomfortable. Sunday I felt better and Monday I didn't feel anything. It took almost 2 weeks before I had stopped hurting. It was long and miserable and I have a new found sympathy for those who have chronic pain. It is not fun to never be able to be relieved of that burden. Emotionally I am still a little wacko some days but I feel fine more often than not. It was a lot of emotion and trial packed into a short while but I feel like I came out strong in the end. I might not be pregnant any more and I am sad about that. We don't want our children spaced this far apart but I know some day I will get to have that baby and raise it up. I would prefer to still be pregnant and have the baby inside of me still, but it makes the emotional recovery so much easier to know I will get to have it some day.

Stairs

In our house we have the stairs to the basement but they are closed off by a door into the kitchen. I hate having that door there but it has been a big help keeping Warren from falling down the stairs since he started crawling. We have been working with Warren for the last 3 months though to get him to do the stairs. At first we were just teaching him to go up the stairs which he seemeed to have a hard time with. He just never wanted to raise his knee up high enough to actually make it up. And he didn't know what to do with his hands. The second month and the third month have been teaching him to go down backwards and the third month has also been trying to get him to start going down the steps feet first. I don't remember when Tristan started doing steps but I feel like he didn't have as hard a time as Warren is and Dallin did steps great early on. But Warren has just been fighting us on the initial approach to going down the stairs. He always goes at them head first and puts his hand on the step and realizes that it is far down so he pulls his hand back up and screams for us to take him down. I have been working and working, trying to get him to understand that he needs to go feet first. Two weeks ago we made progress! If I turned him around he didn't start screaming at me and he was okay with me putting his foot on the stair and then he could go down them without too much problem. But then we had the issue of getting him to turn around. Yesterday though was a break through! He wanted to go with Chris down the stairs and so he crawled up to them and overshot his mark and got on his tummy and shimmied backwards. He ran into the wall so Chris had to help place his feet but it was pretty exciting to have him do that. And then today I was coming down and he followed me and he knew immediately what to do! He got into position and put his foot down and went down all the stairs in such a short time. It was wonderful! Soon I won't worry about him on the stairs at all and he will be able to do it all on his own. I can't wait! My baby is growing up. The crazy thing is that when Dallin was Warrens age I was expecting Tristan in 3 months and when Tristan was Warrens age I was expecting Warren in 7 months. And now Warren is a year in two weeks and I have no baby expected... At this time.

Hoppers

Yesterday the boys and I went to Hoppers Bounce House. They LOVE bounce houses and so does Chris. I am indifferent, but that is probably because I spend my time talking to other mothers and following Warren around. But the boys had a great time and I had one of those happy/proud mothering moments.

We were just getting ready to leave and I told the boys they could do one more bounce house and then we were getting shoes on and leaving. So they decided to go into a bouncy one (rather than the slide or obstacle courses). They are bouncing and having a good time and then Dallin starts singing ring around the roses and he finishes singing and having a good time bouncing. Tristan walks up to him with arms outstretched and asks Dallin to do it with him. So they grab hands and jump around singing it really loud together and then they all fell down. Then they happily got out of the bounce house, shoes on and coats on and then we left, without any fighting or complaining. It was one of those happy mothering moments. I have to keep thinking about it because today with Dallin was one of those unhappy mothering moments. I still love him though!

Cleaning up

So today the boys got out the trains and made a big track and dumped out all the cars and trains and it was a big mess. We told Dallin and Tristan that if they cleaned it all up we would play a game after dinner. Dallin immediately got to work. He is a very motivated child when it comes to playing games. Tristan didn't really care. So I cleaned up the special tracks and Dallin cleaned up the curves and straight pieces. And Tristan was supposed to clean up all the cars and trains. Easy peasy, right? It was for Dallin. He finished in no time at all and Tristan didn't put a single car or train away. I put them all in a pile for him and gave him the bag and bucket they go in and told him that he wouldn't get to eat dinner until he cleaned them up. He is usually more motivated when food is involved, rather than a game. Well... 5 minutes later he was still playing and not cleaning like I asked. He was being so frustrating! So I told him again he couldn't eat until the cars and trains were cleaned up. Dallin heard me say that and asked if that included him and I said no, he did a good job cleaning already. And what did Dallin do? He said Oh! I will help Tristan! This is the boy who had just freaked out because Tristan was on the red chair that doesn't have a scratch. But he wanted to help Tristan clean up. I told him that it was Tristan's job to clean them up and that he didn't need to. But he wanted to. I headed back upstairs telling them that Tristan was to clean the cars, not Dallin. A moment later Dallin and Tristan came back upstairs.

When there was about 2 minutes left on the dinner time I reminded Tristan that he couldn't eat until the toys were picked up. So Chris went back downstairs with him and Dallin went running after them saying I want to help! I will help Tristan! It was so funny. Chris had to tell Dallin repeatedly to let Tristan pick up some of the toys and tell Tristan to pick up some of the toys. It was just so funny to have such differing attitudes and that Dallin was so willing to clean, which I feel doesn't often happen.

Laundry

This morning the boys opened the dryer and found clean clothes that Chris washed yesterday. They then proceeded to take all of those clothes out of the dryer and leave them on the ground in the laundry room. It is a good thing I cleaned that room for the first time in over a year on Friday. I even mopped the floor! So there was all these clothes on the ground and the boys were playing them. I told them to put them away and I went upstairs to take my shower. I was just about ready to hop in when Dallin comes into the bathroom with a towel. It had been in the dryer and he was putting it away. He was very proud of himself because he had rolled it up just like Mommy does. I have a shelf in the bathroom that all the towels go on and they fit best when rolled up rather than folded. He did an okay job with it but it was hard to tell it was rolled at all. I get in  the shower and Dallin comes back up with another towel and he told me that he worked really hard and rolled it really good. and he did! He laid it out flat and then rolled it up. I usually fold it a little first but it was nice to know that he was willing to help me with the laundry and also to do it the way that I want! I can't even get Chris to do it the way that I want most of the time.

Learning to write

A while ago Dallin was writing on the white board. I don't always supervise him, though after the marker on the wall incident I probably should. 

So I came out and Dallin had been writing letters and I wanted to quiz him on what he had drawn. If you look close you can see the B that he drew. It is a very good B and you can tell what it is. Then he wrote an I. And I know how much he loves the letter D so I was pretty sure I knew what the next one was. So I asked him what it was. 

Dallin responded with a big smile on his face.

"A submarine!"

hahaha

Brothers

I feel like it doesn't happen very often, but occasionally all three of my boys will play together and happily. It happened this morning! But even more importantly, it gave me hope that they will be great friends and support one another.

We have a toy that allows a baby to hold on to it and walk with it. We bought it for Dallin and Tristan used it and now it is Warrens turn to learn how to walk with it. Warren is very hesitant about it though. He holds on to it and bounces up and down and moves his arms but firmly plants his feet and doesn't move them. Such a silly boy. But every once in a while he would take a step or two. Dallin and Tristan were right there next to him. And if they ever saw him take those tiny steps, they would both get so excited and yell loudly express their happiness at him walking. Dallin at one point yelled out "Look! He is learning!" Tristan yelled "He is doing it!" and any time I tell them that Warren is learning how to do something, they get very involved and so excited for him to do it. Such as the stairs or walking, or learning how to go from crawling to a sitting position, or even learning how to drink out of a sippy cup.

I hope they always get so excited and want to help one another learn how to do things. I see Dallin and Tristan always showing each other how to do something and now they do it for Warren as well. Such good friends.

Yay Warren!

The last few days have been really busy for us with trying to finish our basement in time for the Superbowl party at our house. But we did it! While we were busy with that though our children suffered attention neglect. We just didn't have time for them. Especially Warren. Last night as soon as we got the t.v. downstairs we turned it on and let the boys play games and watch netflix while Chris and I were busily cleaning up and moving stuff downstairs. At this point we have most of what we need downstairs.

Unfortunately for Warren he is not very entertained for long with the t.v. and so he has been very lonely the last few days so Chris and I have been making an effort today to spend some time with him. Chris pulled out the big mirror in the living room and Warren loves he. He stares at himself, he dance, and most of all he stares at whichever parent is there with him at the time.

Once he was done with the mirror I was laying on the ground with him and he comes over to me and "walks" up and down the side of my body. After a step or two he drops his head and thunks me with it. He does it in a snuggly way though so it is cute. And he just thinks it is so funny. He always has this huge smile on his face when he does it. If you make a noise when he thinks he will start to laugh. I feel bad that we haven't had too much time for him but he is such a good boy and is the absolute sweetest happy baby ever!

He also loves to sit in our lap and play the "yay Warren" game. We sit with him and we just say Yay Warren and he claps. Then he stops, looks at us and waits and we say it again and he claps again. And he always has the biggest smile on his face. It is very cute. So anytime we say it, even if we surprise him with it, he will always stop to clap and smile at us. Chris has been doing that a lot this morning with  him. If for no other reason than to see him smile.

The Ultimate Frustration

This morning... Oh, it was not a good morning! My boys were fighting each other and yelling and they woke up Warren and I was so frustrated with them I sent them downstairs. Downstairs is coming along nicely. We put up most of the trim last night and have 17 small pieces to put up and I was going to go start caulking during Warrens morning nap time and finish during the afternoon nap and maybe even start painting. I had high aspirations. 

Then disaster struck. Disaster. DISASTER! Dallin was done playing downstairs so he came upstairs and quickly told me that Tristan was drawing on the walls downstairs. My eyes got big and I got worried and I asked which ones and Dallin responded "All of them". Oh. My. Gosh. I quickly ran downstairs and told Dallin to take care of Warren. I got to the bottom of the stairs and very sweetly and nicely Tristan offered me up the PERMANENT MARKER in his hands. I could only see a little spot way over on the other side of the basement where there was one mark and I was upset but I could handle it. So I asked him what he was doing and he said "Drawing on the walls". I said no, that isn't a good thing. I started walking forward and as I got out into the open area I literally screamed. AHHHHHH! It was ALL over the largest wall in the basement. The one you want to look flawless because there is lots of light on it and nothing covering it. And now there was a loooong mark from one side of the room to the other and then lots of swills and loops and doodles underneath it. I know Dallin did the long mark because Tristan couldn't reach that high. 

So, back to the story, I screamed. Then I took a breath. Took the marker away and quietly told Tristan to go upstairs. He quickly obeyed. I walked around looking at the damage. Not only was that wall covered but they had taken the marker and run it up and down in the corners of the room. Not cool. And they got a pen so that both of them could draw. Also not cool. And they marked up every wall in the room. Thankfully the rest of the walls only had small marks but still! I could not believe it. My kids have never drawn on the walls except Tristan did once last summer in June or so. And they have had plenty of opportunities to do it but never have. So I was not expecting it. and it stinks because we had finished painting the walls and were all done with them. We only had trim left to do! Gah!

I went back upstairs and asked them to go in their room while I called Chris and they quietly obeyed. They must have known how upset I was because they don't often obey that request. I called Chris and was feeling a bit upset but was proud of myself as well because I had not yet caused physical harm to my children. Or put them on the side of the street and told them to start walking. Go me! After I talked to Chris I went and found the denatured alcohol and rags and grabbed Warren and the other two and we all went downstairs. As a punishment they had to wipe the walls down. Not that rags with water on them was going to do anything but it was the principle of the matter. After a while they started having too much fun for a consequence though so I had them sit in time out chairs and they got to watch me for the next half hour scrub the marks off of the wall. Then Warren wanted lunch and I was tired of doing that so we went upstairs and told them I was done with them and they couldn't be in the same room as me for a while. So I made lunch but Warren was so tired that he fell asleep before I even finished making it, put him down, fed Dallin and Tristan and put them down for naps. Then I went downstairs and finished rubbing all the marks off of the walls. The marks were completely gone but you could see where the alcohol had rubbed the top coat of paint right off so it needed a topcoat of paint. I quickly got everything out and painted over it and now all traces of their escapade are gone. I am glad that I didn't do something to my children that I would regret but I still wonder if they know how upset I was at them. Here is hoping to no more set backs with the basement!

Breakfast

This morning Dallin kept telling me he was hungry. I usually wait until all 3 boys are awake before I start making breakfast. Dallin asked me 3 or 4 times if he could eat breakfast before Tristan finally woke up. It was frustrating/cute. So Tristan woke up and was absolutely adorable. He slowly walked out of his room and looked like he was still asleep so I said good morning and sat down on the ground and snuggled him good. He sat with me for like 10 minutes, just snuggling and talking to me while he slowly woke up. After he went and started playing I decided to hop in the shower really fast before I made breakfast. And I take a fast shower because you never know what kind of trouble these boys will get into when I am unavailable.

As I was drying off, Dallin came into the bathroom and told me again that he was hungry and could we eat? I said I think we can as soon as I get dressed. He then responded that he put a pan on the stove for me so that I could cook breakfast. "It is a biiiiiig pan so you can make lots of eggs, Mommy!" haha. It was very cute because he was just so proud of himself for helping and starting the breakfast process.

It has been a good morning for us so far.

I Love You

Chris and I like to think we are good parents. I am sure we do well in some areas and not so well in others. But one area that I like to think we do very good in is telling our kids that we love them. They might not always feel like we love them but they will hear it an awful lot by the time they move out so they will know it by then!

Dallin has recently started telling me all the time that he loves me. And he hugs me and kisses me. Because I tell him that it makes me happy and that I really like it. Dallin has anger issues sometimes and can't contain his anger in his little body and it comes out in the form of hitting or screaming or throwing or knocking things over. I have been trying very hard when he is like that to try to talk him out of it rather than be upset right back at him which is unfortunately my first instinct. But we are learning creatures and able to change those habits I am happy to say. So now when he starts flipping out I grab his hands and try to talk to him and ask him what he is feeling and tell him that I love him. Because I do love him.

So now when he sees that I am upset or angry or crying, he will grab my hands and look in my eyes and tell me that he loves me. Today in the van I told them that I was frustrated with them and that they weren't obeying me at the library. So Dallin immediately piped up "I love you". And it is amazing how quickly those words from a 3 year old can calm me down.

Tristan has also noticed that Dallin says I Love You a lot and so he has started saying it to me in the last day or two. Though I think he just says it to get what he wants... "Mommy, I want a drink... ... ... I love you!" Either way, I am glad that my boys are hearing it lots and I hope they understand how much I really do love them.